What if you feel like ending it all?

I don’t know why this topic is on my heart right now, but it is. Maybe you’re the reason. Maybe you’re the one, in the middle of the night, reaching out in this vast anonymous space, for one last hope. One last reason not to cash it all in and leave this hell-hole of a life you’re stuck in.

Well, here you are, and here I am typing these words for reasons I don’t really know. If we’ve met, you know I’m not big on hunches or divine impressions or all that. I’m pretty rational. I think I’m rational right now, but there’s an ache in my heart for you, for reasons I don’t even know.

Here’s what I do know:

No matter what you’ve done or what has been done to you — deep beneath whatever layers of crud have accumulated over your soul — there lies a beautiful, radiant, cherished soul, created in the image of God. To him, you are beautiful. Today. Just as you are. No, God has not forsaken you. No, he has not given up on you. No, he has not caused or approved of the horrible things that have happened to you. Or of whatever horrible things you might have done.

But right now, he draws near you with a compassion you can’t begin to imagine. He smiles when he sees you — the real you. He sees beyond the masks. His gaze penetrates the sum of your coping skills. He looks deep within to see your true self, your best self lying hidden, sunk deep where no one else sees.

God sees the true you and his eyes sparkle with delight over you. He loves you. And even though we might not have ever met face to face, right now, my heart aches with yours, and I love you too.

There is great hope for you. There is a beautiful destiny written into God’s plan for your tomorrows. No pit is too deep. No failure is too final. You’re not damaged goods. The knots can all be untangled, with time. With patience. With grace. With perseverance.

I don’t know… should I put some links here for crisis hotlines? Okay, here goes… I hope this is a good idea. Please use them. Promise me you will. Promise me you’ll call right now. Here’s the link, and the phone number: http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/  and the call is free:

1-800-273-TALK (8255)

I have a confession for you, and then a prayer, and that’s all I can say.

My confession is I’ve been where you are. In my 20s, for a long period of my life, every day, I thought of ending it all. I imagined it. I thought it. I imagined the reactions. And thank God, I never even tried it. I am so glad. Beyond that dark time for me lay such blessing I can’t begin to tell you. It will be that way for you. It really will. You just have to get there, and you can.

Whether you’re just tired of the pain, or whether you’re trying to get even with the people who hurt you, I can tell this: you don’t want to hand anyone the victory of this final act. Least of all the Ultimate Hater who inspired all the other haters in your life: the Devil. Don’t give him that satisfaction. Come with me. One more day. One more day. One more day. One day at a time. Let’s do this. Jesus will help you. Jesus opened this door for you. Jesus brought you to these words today. Not an accident. You are cherished. He adores you.

Now, my prayer for you.

O Great and Gracious God, the Father of all Mercies, 

Have mercy on my friend reading these words right now. Plant a spark of hope in their souls. Turn them from this course they’re imagining. Light the fires of hope within them, that they might cling to even the faintest faith in a better tomorrow. Heal the wounded places in their hearts. Silence the maddening voices within. Speak peace into them. Bring divine comfort. Count all their tears, draw near, and wrap them up in your strong arms of love. Direct their feet onto new paths, leading to life, and peace, and love, and joy. It’s all real, Lord. Your ways are life-giving. Cherish that lonely soul reading this in the dark. Value them. Accept them. Help them forgive themselves even as you have — through your Son’s great sacrifice — forgiven them so completely. And Lord, when the new day dawns, let their eyes open to behold it.  And in that light, let them feel profoundly assured that you are with them… healing, forgiving, embracing, dreaming, and loving. I commit them into your caring arms.  And I ask you to draw around them true and faithful friends, brothers and sisters on this trek through a difficult world. 

Through Christ I pray,

Amen. 

PS, I love you.

PPS, Every day you say yes to life, the angels of heaven stand and cheer… You’re their hero and mine too.

Now, I have to decide if this is too weird, or if I should click “publish.”

Happy Father’s Day

Again, I’m happy to present guest blogger Brenda Aman. I’m honored to work along side her at Neighborhood Church. She possesses rare combinations of wisdom, maturity, compassion, and no-nonsense work ethic. She shared this Father’s Day devotional with our staff, and with her permission, I share it with you. 

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I’m grateful to announce that Secrets to a Happy Life has just broken into the top 100 bestsellers on Amazon’s Inspirational list. It’s at #96, but that’s something! Thank you for your help in spreading the word!

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Father’s Day 2013

This weekend the world celebrates Father’s Day. In our busy lives, it is good that we are forced to take a moment and recognize our dads, grandfathers and spiritual dads. I have been blessed by four incredible men who have poured into my life. I had a wonderful father who unfortunately passed away a few years ago, and he taught me about unconditional love and nurturing that I carry with me.  My grandfather modeled and taught me work ethic. Mr. French, my Sunday school and spiritual teacher, taught me about Jesus. Dan Kruse, my spiritual mentor, taught me the wisdom to listen quickly and speak slowly. It has been their love and nurturing in my life that helped build the woman I am today.

How often do we take what dad does for granted? There are Godly men out there who are the spiritual heads of their homes. They work hard to provide the income needed to sustain day to day life. They love and honor their wife. They realize their children are gifts from God and help nurture and mold their lives. These dads realize that serving God is their divine purpose and being the head of their home is their first and most important ministry.

Today is a day to make sure dad knows just how much we love and appreciate him.

For those dads out there that are working hard to be the kind of dad I just described, know that you are in our prayers. Know that each day as you spend that special time alone with the Lord, He will encourage you, prepare you, and make you adequate for that day. You are on the path God wants you to be on as you strive each day to serve Him, making your wife and children your number one priorities. Balance is one of the biggest hurdles you face each day, and I pray the Lord will help you find that perfect balance between work, home, serving Him, and relaxing.

The other big hurdle is being able to give God control. Having so much responsibility each day, letting go and really trusting God at certain times is not easy. Just remember, in John 15:5 it says, “Without me you can do nothing.” God has given you great talents, great gifts, but without the Lord‘s strength, and He being in charge, it won’t make any difference. Make your faith real as you learn to trust Him more each day.

I recognize today that there are also many dads who aren’t the kind of dad I described. Unless someone is totally committed and surrendered to the Lord, overseeing the responsibilities of marriage and children often suffer. Without the Lord leading your life, getting caught up in all of the traps of this world happen frequently, and life really never makes much sense. The importance of being a husband or a father doesn’t have the significance that it should. That is why so many men have left the home, abandoned their children, and continually are caught up in every kind of sin imaginable.

We want you to know that we care about you. For you men, let me encourage you by telling you . . . if you keep Jesus first in your life, He will help you overcome the trials of this life, and allow you to see victories in every area of your life. In your marriage, in your children, in your career, in your service for Him….if you will simply trust Him and operate in His strength, you will know blessings and joy above and beyond anything you ever imagined.

Please know that we will be praying for you, to be the man, the husband, the father, the servant God has called you to be. God has given us many great examples of how to be a true father. Follow Him each day and He will mold you and make you into the father He has raised you up to be.

 

You Can Help Your Author-Friend

Sending a book into the world is like playing the lottery: the odds of becoming a best-seller are about 10 in 250 million. As authors, we’re writing into a ridiculously crowded field, and odds are itty-bitty a book ever catches fire. But if it does, it will be by a combination of God and faithful fans. Compounding the difficulty is the fact that most authors are reluctant to market. We’re not natural sales-people; we’re authors who hunker down in the corner at Starbucks. And many of us are introverts.

For me, it’s especially complicated as a pastor. The thought that anyone would feel I’m more interested in sales than in helping people grow gnaws at me.

Even so, it’s part of the commitment. When a publisher contracts with an author, they expect the author to use every reasonable means to spread the word.

So here I am asking for your help. You can help your author-friend. We need you. Other authors have weighed in with excellent ideas on how to do this (Debi Raney here, and Jodi Hedlund here). I’ll try not to have too much overlap. Here are my top ten ways you can help your author-friend:

1. Pray.
   If your author-friend has a message, and you believe in it, pray for God’s blessing on the success of the book. I blogged here about Why I Write, and if you know me, it’s all about an incredible gospel of grace. If you can do nothing else on this list, please pray for God to use my books (or your friend’s books) to transform lives and destinies. I am so grateful for each person who prays for my writing ministry. Thank you!
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2. Don’t forget us after the initial book release.
   My book comes out on June 15. [The Amazon gods messed with my plan by an early release. But that's okay, because heaven's God is on my side.] Did you know that National Happiness Month is August? I’m planning a special push then (after all, the title is Secrets to a Happy Life). The occasional link on Twitter and Facebook or the random blog post 3 and 6 and 10 months later would be awesome. I will love you extra-special!!!
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3. Write reviews.
   They are a pain to post, and you have to leave your name and all that, but they are extremely important for sales. Here are the links to review my book: Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Christian Book Distributors, Goodreads. Nothing long or fancy… just a few sentences to help potential readers click the buy button.
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4. Facebook and Twitter and Blogs.
   Yep, social media is the name of the game. To use these media effectively, don’t make it about sales. Make it about helping people. If there is something you find in my book that you think will inspire, encourage, guide, or in any other way bless your friends, by all means share it along with the book title and a link to an online sales site or the book site (www.secretstoahappylife.org). Share when you start the book. Share when you finish the book. And be a fan of their author-page. SHARE your author-friend’s Facebook posts and retweet their Tweets. If you have a blog, I’d love to do an interview, so hit me  up!

   For my book, all of this is especially important THE WEEK OF JUNE 15.
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5. Suggest the book to your small group or reading club. 
   Thank you. My books have study guides. They’re in the book, and they’re also printable with space for your answers. You can download the latest one here: Happy Life Downloads.
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6. Advocate across your networks. 
   Do you know media people who might do an interview? Help make the connection. Do you know a library purchaser? Suggest the book. Do you know a pastor with a lot of connections who can spread the word? Give him a copy and ask him to tweet it. Does your church have a small groups director? Give them the book and offer to lead a group.
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7. Give the book as gifts.
   Christmas. Birthdays. Graduation. Summer reading. 
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8. Use my SHARABLES…
   SHARABLE QUOTES: So, I wanted to make it easy to help you help me… Here is a massive list of quotes from Secrets to a Happy Life… two clicks and the quote is tweeted.
   SHARABLE PICTURES: I have a bunch of inspirational-type pictures like the one below, on the book’s website, here. Share them. Tweet them. I’ll put them on Facebook and Twitter and you can share them from there. Thanks.
   
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9. Support Author Events
   Share them with your friends, bring a friend, say a prayer, come and keep the author company. Book signings can be very lonely, especially if the author isn’t in his/her hometown. My events are all online here, and each one has its own social media share buttons… quick and easy. If you’re church or event needs a speaker, That would be awesome too.

   PS: Launching this Friday, June 14, at Barnes and Noble in Redding, CA. 3:00 pm.
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10. Join My Book Launch Team
    If you’ve made it this far, it might mean you’re willing to help. I have started a private (secret) group on Facebook. It’s called Bill’s Book Launch Team, and we’ll have a secret handshake. All you have to do is commit to a couple of the items above. In return, I’ll provide access to a pre-publication book or two (works in progress), and my undying gratitude. Fill out the form, and I’ll send you the link.
    Name(required)

    Email(required)

    Facebook Name(required)

    Main thing Blogger

    Good sized Facebook following

    Good sized Twitter following

    Prayer Warrior

    Glad to help however I can

    Other

    Any other suggestions? Thanks.
    As always, sharing is appreciated.

Blessing Your Introverted Child

In my continuing quest to make the world safe for Introverts, I’d like to turn the spotlight on our kids. Introverted kids are virtually a persecuted minority. Extrovert bullies sniff them out and unleash their torpedoes of nastiness, leaving the young introvert tongue-tied and humiliated. Unless an introverted child has exceptionally understanding and observant parents, that kids is doomed to grow up feeling like a freak. The fact that most parents, statistically, are extroverts, only compounds the problem. If your child seems “different,” before you pack him/her off to the therapist, please consider the possibility that you have been blessed with a wonderfully creative, smart, funny introverted kid.

Here are some pointers to create an environment of blessing in which they can flourish.

1. Never label your kid as SHY.

I’ve seen it happen so many times, it breaks my heart. “This is my little girl, Aquanetta.” [Girl hides behind mom.] “Yeah, she’s SHY shy shy shy shy shy shy shy.”

Why I Write

I am an author. This is usually not a curable condition. Like preaching, writing is a call I can’t shake. In my eighth grade school newspaper, I listed “journalist” as my future profession. Close enough. There’s a fire in my belly, a burden from the Lord, and I can’t get away from it. I can’t do anything else and see myself happy.

Why write?

I write because ideas come packed in words, and ideas change the world. With words, God spoke the starry cosmos into existence. With words, he created the magic that is life. And with words, his story is kept alive in this crazy, morally broken cosmos diabolicus. Words in harmony with divine truth are packages for the power of God.

First Mother

I’m happy to welcome guest blogger today, Brenda Aman. As Lead Director of Operations, Brenda shares the second-highest leadership role at Neighborhood Church with Todd Skinner. She is one of the best leaders I have ever met, with a passion for health in the church. She is also a wise mentor, and just a lot of fun to be around. Brenda shared this devotional with our staff on Thursday, and with her permission, I am excited to share it with you.

First Mother

“And Adam called his wife’s name Eve; because she was the mother of all living.” Genesis 3:20 

There are people all over the world, past and present, who have wanted to be the first at something; first to reach a mountain top or the first man in space. There are many “firsts,” but one first I do not think I would want was to be the first mother. I’m glad Eve had that first for all women.

They Always Blame the Christians

The corrupt leaders of ancient Rome wagged the finger of blame at Christians, making them convenient scapegoats for society’s ills, ranging from run-away taxation to crop-failure. Because Christians have a built-in mechanism to admit their imperfections, they didn’t defend themselves very well. This, in turn, made them food for lions.

I witnessed yesterday yet another popular Christian author piling-on the church as the “main cause of atheism.” His quote made the rounds on Facebook. If we Christians weren’t so dang un-Christian, the popular author implied, the atheists of the world would quickly bow the knee to the Lord Jesus Christ.

Not so fast.

Thinking Like a Renter

“Now he who received seed among the thorns is he who hears the word, and the cares of this world and the deceitfulness of riches choke the word, and he becomes unfruitful. (Matthew 13:22, NKJV).

My wife and I own our house — at least the part of if the bank doesn’t own — and that is an incredible blessing.

It is also a burden.

It’s the Church, Stupid

In Bill Clinton’s first campaign for president, chief advisor George Stephanopoulos, famously wrote, IT’S THE ECONOMY, STUPID in a prominent place on a markerboard. By keeping the main thing the main thing, he kept the campaign on message and won the victory.

As a Christian, I look at a world in its accelerating swirl down the toilet. It’s enough to make you dig a fallout shelter in the back yard and join the Preppers. Economic collapse. Impending austerity measures. Domestic terrorism. Wars and rumors of wars. Sexual mores abandoned on an epic scale. Christianity under attack. The rise of false religion. Bold-faced corruption in the highest places in our land.

Hand me an antacid, please.

Sunday: Why the Resurrection?

Scripture is clear: if Christ was not raised from the dead, the Christian faith is worthless.

And if Christ is not risen, your faith is futile; you are still in your sins! (1 Corinthians 15:17, NKJV).

What does the resurrection of Christ accomplish that his cross didn’t?