Wild and Crazy on National Grammar Day

english-language-teachers_o_430456

Hold onto your hat, it’s National Grammar Day! I know! Hard to contain the excitement, isn’t it. In case you don’t know, certain people suffer a weird love affair with words. I’m one of them — a confessed victim of philologomania. Anyhoo, in honor of the day, see if you can catch the mistakes in the sentences below and join the cause of Better Grammar for All! Correct the sentence and, if you can, give the grammatical reason/s.

Rules: punctuation matters. Style and sentence structure matter. No need to edit all the sentences; just pick a couple. Use the numbers. Be snobbish and ultra-correct, strictly applying even archaic rules. Yes. Let’s be those people.

  1. This is the starship Enterprise. It’s five-year mission: …to boldly go where no one has gone before.
  2. We are grateful for the unnamed donor who sent a pizza to Margi and I. There it was, in a box, laying on our front porch, beckoning with gooey goodness. Thank you forever.
  3. How wonderful to know that Jesus loves me.
  4. My daughter is in her room sleeping. Wake up, sleepyhead!
  5. God loves you irregardless of your past failures. He extends his hand of mercy to whoever wills.
  6. The gospel teaches that God’s Son died for you and I. He rose again, and reigns from the throne of glory. One day, he shall come again.
  7. Somebody should tell grammar snobs to unclench there butt cheeks.
  8. Whatever flesh remain on the carcass of the English language after Hip-Hop has pummeled it to death, will be pecked clean by Twitter.
  9. My fistadious editor helped me remove excess and unnecessary words.
  10. Knowing my wife and I love deep dish pizza, you squandered it on he and she. You have no idea how that effected my wife and I.
  11. Look me square in the eye and tell me you don’t care about this stuff.
  12. I don’t trust ground beef which isn’t organic. To much horse DNA has been found in it.
  13. I have a million less brain cells then when I started this grammar quiz. There’s ten minutes I’ll never get back.
  14. Italian food is different than Greek food and I’m glad about that.
  15. Its always nice to finally finish an aggravating post like this.
  16. BONUS: Lastly, this has been such an impactful post, I will click, joyful, the share buttons below, spreading grammar-love though the world.

With thanks to the teachers of Chicago’s Oriole Park School, and to my high school English teachers, Mrs. Zarlenga, Mr. Mims, and to my wonderful Latin teacher, Ms. Shirley Robeson.

A free book to the first two to post 6 or more corrections in the comments below… 

Click to Tweet… 

About these ads

31 thoughts on “Wild and Crazy on National Grammar Day

  1. Wow…this list reinforces my firm belief that writers NEED editors, perhaps for the simple reason that I see nothing wrong with #11. However, in a grammar-savvy mind it’s probably the worst offending sentence. :) Cheers!

    • Thank you Donna for visiting! Yes, we need editors. I think if we’re being picky, we’d want an adverb there: Look me squarely in the eye…

  2. 14. Italian food is different than Greek food, and I’m glad about that.

    15. It’s always nice to finally finish an aggravating post like this.

  3. never mind – I thought it was “correct two sentences” – 6? you’ll be correcting my corrections, I think (and no need to correct hat I just wrote – I’m now officially off-duty) (-8

  4. isn’t it.(?), Starship, Margi and myself, lying on our front porch, irregardless (that one drives me crazy!), Gods’ Son,

  5. 1. This is a trick question. The original series only lasted 3 years.
    2. Note to self: Never eat pizza at Bill & Margi’s. They found it outside. Probably near a dumpster.
    3. He loves me more than you.
    4. Leave the kid sleep! Meany.
    5. Ha! It’s “irregardlessly” .
    6. It’s “reins” (e.g. “meticulous Providence.”)
    7. Aint’ gonna happen.
    8. It’s ‘Fleshly remains”.
    9. and redundant to.
    10. See #1. They probably garbage picked it.
    11. I see myself! Nice trick!
    12. Dwight Schrute patented horse meat on the hoof. Look it up.
    13. Ha! this only took me 5 minutes so I have 300,000 more brain than you cells!
    14. So r the Greeks.
    15. Amen.
    16. Did ‘n’ Done!

  6. 1. Capitalize Starship. It’s a five year mission. Add a between stenences and take out the colon it is not needed
    5. Add and between sentences
    6. Take out the comma after again
    7. I will click the joyful share button. Take off the pural there is no need for it and add the word the before the word joyful

    • I wish I had read this before I posted I would’ve taken out the colon…I shouldn’t have missed that.

  7. For a short while grammar was not being taught in our schools. Unfortunately, I am from that era, so I constantly with my grammar. With that said, here are my best guesses. By the way, I like Bob G’s response the best. ;)

    1. This is the Starship Enterprise. Its five-year mission: …”to boldly go where no one has gone before.”

    5. My daughter is in her room sleeping. “Wake up, sleepyhead!”

    7. The gospel teaches that God’s Son died for you and I, He rose again, and reigns from the throne of Glory. One day, He shall come again.

    8. Somebody should tell grammar snobs to unclench their butt cheeks.

    9. Whatever flesh remains on the carcass of the English language, after Hip-Hop has pummeled it to death, will be pecked clean by Twitter.10. My fastidious editor helped me remove unnecessary words.

    13. I don’t trust non-organic ground beef, too much horse DNA has been found in it.

    16. It is always nice to finally finish an aggravating post like this.

    17. BONUS: Lastly, this post has had such an impact, I will joyfully click the share buttons below; spreading grammar-love throughout the world.

  8. I realized I had to correct a couple of things.

    10. My fastidious editor helped me remove unnecessary words.

    13. I don’t trust non-organic ground beef, too much horse DNA has been found in it.

    16. It is always nice to finally finish an aggravating post like this.

    17. BONUS: Lastly, this post has had such an impact, I will joyfully click the “share” button below; spreading grammar-love throughout the world.

  9. I’m only going to correct the ones that really bother me.
    1. Starship Enterprise. And it should be “Its” five-year mission…
    2. We are grateful to the unnamed donor who sent a pizza to Margi and me. There it was, in a box, lying on our front porch…
    5. God loves you regardless of your past failures.
    6. The gospel teaches that God’s Son died for you and me. He rose again and reigns from the throne of glory. One day he shall come again. (Maranatha! Come quickly, Lord Jesus!)
    7. I take offense at this remark, but… (I mean, butt…) “their” butt cheeks.
    9. “fastidious” and probably something about “excess” being a noun and not an adjective.
    10. UGGHH. Knowing my wife and I love deep dish pizza, you squandered it on him and her. You have no idea how that affected my wife and me!
    12. “too”
    13. I have a million less brain cells THAN when I started this grammar quiz. There’s ten minutes I’ll never get back. (It’s okay to phrase a time element as a singular entity, right?)
    14. Italian food is different FROM Greek food…
    15. It’s always nice…
    16. I don’t even know what to say about this last one… it needs to be completely rewritten!

    Thanks for the fun diversion, Bill!

  10. My attempt:

    1. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its five-year mission: to boldly go where no one has gone before.
    2. We are grateful for the unnamed donor who sent a pizza to Margi and me. There it was, in a box, lying on our front porch, beckoning with gooey goodness. Thank you forever.
    3. How wonderful it is to know that Jesus loves me.
    4. My daughter is sleeping in her room. Wake up, sleepyhead!
    5. God loves you regardless of your past failures. He extends his hand of mercy to whoever will.
    6. The gospel teaches that God’s son died for you and me. He rose again and reigns from the throne of glory. One day, he will come again.
    7. Someone should tell grammar snobs to unclench their butt cheeks. (Yuck!)
    8. Whatever flesh remains on the carcass of the English language after hip-hop has pummeled it to death will be picked clean by Twitter.
    9. My fastidious editor helped me to remove extra and unnecessary words.
    10. Knowing how my wife and I love deep dish pizza, you squandered it on him and her. You have no idea how that affected my wife and me.
    11. Look me squarely in the eye and tell me that you don’t care about this stuff.
    12. I don’t trust ground beef that isn’t organic. Too much horse DNA has been found in it.
    13. I have a million fewer brain cells than when I started this grammar quiz. There are ten minutes I’ll never get back.
    14. Italian food is different than Greek food and I’m glad about it.
    15. It’s always nice to finally finish an aggravating post like this.
    BONUS: Finally, this has been such a great post, I will joyfully click the share buttons below, spreading grammar-love throughout the world. Impactful is not a real word.

    I hope that I will receive a passing grade!

  11. It’s been a while, but…
    1. its
    2. Margie and me
    3. Fragment
    4. Comma after room???
    5. regardless
    6. you and me…capitalize he
    7. their
    8. remains
    9. fastidious
    10. us, rather than he and she…me instead of I. (But mostly it was squandered on just you, not Margie.)
    11. squarely
    12. too
    13. than
    14. different from
    15. it’s I’d also go with such as, rather than like
    16. joyfully and throughout

    Not sure about a lot of these. Like I said, it’s been years since I’ve taught any of this!!!

  12. 1. Starship (capitalized) “It’s” should be “its” (possessive).
    2. You are grateful “for” the unnamed donor …. and Margi and I should be Margi and me. Also “laying” should be “lying”?
    7. the grammar snobs need to unclench “their” butt cheeks!
    9. should be spelled “fastidious” .. also, I feel that “excess and unnecessary” is a bit redundant.
    10. “he and she” should be “him and her” and “affected” (not effected) and it should be “my wife and me”
    13. “then” should be “than”
    Bonus: … um, don’t think “impactful” is a word … trying to make the noun “impact” into an adjective … better to use “influential”? and then change “joyful” to “joyfully” and “through” to “throughout”
    … there’s my kick at the cat.

  13. I’m afraid I should add a qualifier for “starship Enterprise.” Although it is probably correct to say “starship Enterprise” in a sentence, the ship is often known as the “Starship Enterprise.” I really think it depends on context. No?

  14. Oh goodness! I forgot to correct the first part of #12. Should be “that” instead of “which.”

  15. 1. starship, Enterprise OR Starship Enterprise. its, of course. To go boldly takes care of the split infinitive BUT ruins a set phrase.
    2. …Jesus loves me!
    5. regardless…His hand…whoever will grab it [or do something]
    8.. remains ,after… OR, preferably, no commas.
    15. It’s…finally to finish [picky, I know] an annoying post.

    • I LOVE how Janet caught one of the most famous split infinitives of the current era! I remember someone commenting about this phrase some years ago, but I completely forgot about the error until now. Good catch!

  16. Pingback: National Grammer Day Resolved (part 2) | maxgrace.com

Comments are closed.