My Daughter’s Marriage and My Son’s Sex Talk

Two Fatherhood moments to never forget that both happened this week:

First moment: in my car driving Josie to school this week…

“Daddy, J.D. says he wants to marry me when we grow up.” I kept my eyes on the road, and listened as my five year old daughter held forth. She was in a very talkative mood. J.D. is my four year old son. “But I don’t think I want to marry him.” “Oh really?” I asked sagely. “Why not?”

“Because J.D. hits me sometimes, and I’m not ever going to marry a man who hits me. I’m going to marry a man who treats me nice.” My heart swelled with pride. “And J.D. yells a lot at me, and a girl shouldn’t marry a man who yells at her. I’m going to marry a many who says nice things to me.”

I told Josie how proud I was of her. Margi and I talk about marriage all the time, and how important it is. And how important it is to pick a good man.

I agreed with Josie that it wasn’t a good idea to marry J.D. I asked her what her husband would be like. She said, “He will love Jesus and be nice to me.” I felt like a good dad. And if that’s the kind of man she marries, I’ll be happy (in a tearful, blubbering sort of way).

Second unforgettable Dad moment…

J.D., snuggling with me. I’m clothed. He’s totally naked. We’re watching the Power Rangers. J.D. feels his penis and asks, “Daddy, why is there a ball in my pee-pee?” He’s four years old, and it’s time for our/my/his first sex talk. I took a deep, cleansing breath.

“You have two balls inside your pee-pee. Those are called testicles.”

“What are testicles for?” (He pronounced it teth-ti-culls.)

“When you’re older, and after you get married, they’ll help you have babies and have a lot of fun.”


We survived.

Grace: the just-in-time God-given ability to operate in the moment with the courage and love of Christ.

Grace: finding abiding pleasure in fleeting blessings.


4 thoughts on “My Daughter’s Marriage and My Son’s Sex Talk

  1. I have to say Bill, this is a refreshing insight into who you are. Definitely not the same “Pastor’s Retreat” Bill I get to see on the weekends. And by the way, my last name is spelled “Tanksley” not “Tanksely” thanks for the link love, you are already linked back on mine.

  2. I wish that I got that sex talk when I was just a wee lad mine was much different but none the less informative, I just love the fact that you are willing to discuss any topic no matter how many other people seem afraid to touch it; homosexuality, the joys of sex (in a married relationship), truth, and so many more. Your teaching has been such a huge part in Lauren and my spiritual growth. Thank you for that.

    I love your blog and I would be honored to be on your bolgroll. Thanks for all the straight foreword Biblical truth that you unabashedly give us each week. Keep it up we need more great men like yourself.

  3. Glad to see the blog…it is already terrific!

    Just had a sex talk with my 8-year old son this past week! He was pretty upset that his pee pee was pushing up against his pants for some reason. I survived this one, thankfully.

  4. I’m sitting at the airport in Peoria, Illinois. An announcement was just made that my flight is delayed by almost 2 hours. This means I’ll probably miss my connecting flight in Minneapolis (connecting to Sacramento) and have the unique experience of spending the night in the airport. That news didn’t make me very happy.

    I turned on my computer and came here to read your blog. This entry changed my mood. Great stuff! 🙂

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