Classes for Men

Fall Classes for Men at

Neighborhood Church of Redding

Please have your wife complete your registration by:
Halloween, 2007


Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays–Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll–Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?  Includes Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 4

Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor–Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
Class 5
Dinner Dishes–Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM
Class 6
Loss Of Identity–Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM
Class 7
Learning How To Find Things–Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum.
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
Class 8
Health Watch–Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost–Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.
Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday’s noon, 2 hours.
Class 11< /S! PAN&g t;
Learning to Live–Basic Differences Between Your Mother and Your Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing.
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined
Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy–Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You’re Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 14
The Stove/Oven–What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

(Thanks to my old friends, Dick and Dee, for sending me this one.) BG

Which one is your favorite? Leave a comment.


6 thoughts on “Classes for Men

  1. Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks? Driving Simulations.

    This one is my favorite; it certainly rings true for me, but I’m a bit worse–I have a hard time keeping quiet while in the passenger seat when my wife drives us around. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I like control and have a need to be in control. Or, perhaps it is because my wife is new to the Sacramento area and subconsciously I am aware that she is inexperienced at driving in heavy traffic and am scared that we will soon get in an accident. In any case, whether genetically, mentally, or for any other possible source, I think it is simply impossible for males to be quiet while their wives drive in uptight situations, like traffic or parallel parking.

  2. im on the same page as mr. gregory. cant be quiet or kind while in the passenger seat.

    this is a good clue to why lauren enjoys the opc series…or just pc (peter’s craziness)

  3. I like the TV remote class. I saw my remote sitting next to my eife last night, and I was alarmed…because minutes before it had been by my seat. I felt powerless, but I didn’t want to say anything. It’s impossible to check 5 different sports scores and watch Grey’s anatomy on when you don’t have the remote…it’s just Grey’s anatomy…no sports scores when she gets up to use the restroom. Guys are so efficient at remote use it should be a class we teach. I can watch 4 or 5 things at the same time and have a decent idea what is going on in all of them. 3 of the 5 are sports…but still.

  4. For me, it’s the Shopping class: I have to do deep breathing exercises and relaxation techniques when we cross the threshhold into Macy’s.


  5. Aside from classes one (we have an automatic ice maker) and fourteen (just press a button), I’m signing my husband up for all of the above. Are you certain the women at NCR didn’t pick the curriculum? Oh yeah, they DID!!

    Get a grip on the driving, fellas. My husband has learned to SLEEP while I’m driving. Saves a ton of unpleasantness!!

    (I did tee hee through this one though!!)

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