sausage.jpegI don’t know who said that if you knew how they made sausage, you’d never eat it, but they were right. Different cities, different times…

BAGEL PLACE: Friday. As I waited for my breakfast bagel, I watched the young lady behind the counter knock a tupperware bowl onto the floor. They use these bowls to microwave their pre-cooked egg rectangles for my sandwich. You could write your name in the grease on the floor; you could make a sandwich from the rotten food getting kicked around down there. Yet there rolled the hapless tupperware.

I ask you, what should happen to that tupperware? And what do you think did happen?

She picked it up from the disgusting floor and placed it in the stack with the other tupperwares for the next unsuspecting bagel-diner.

What planet do I live on?

washhands.jpegBURGER/STEAK PLACE: Tuesday. I am in the men’s room, standing. Another man exits the stall, where he was sitting, and walks right out of the men’s room, without washing his hands. Yucch.

Wait. It gets worse.

He is one of the cooks, apron and all. As I walk past the open-view kitchen, I see him tossing some hamburgers on the grill.

Seinfeld fans… remember Poppy?

ecoli.jpegHaven’t you guys heard of microscopic life forms that give people stomach cramps and cause federally mandated, nationwide recalls?

CHICKEN PLACE: Monday. As the very nice lady assembles my meal, she coughs into my container. Lady, just because it ain’t visible doesn’t mean it ain’t alive. A real cough aimed right at my food container.

C’mon! This is America! Land of the free and home of the lawsuit!

HOTEL LUNCH BUFFET, Sunday. Good spread. Good food. Margi brings back a plate from the very nice salad bar.

Hair and all.

Floss and eat in one step. Very smart.

sweat.jpegFAST FOOD PLACE: Wednesday. A very hard working short order cook is packing and assembling orders at a super-fast rate. He is also sweating like a Gatorade commercial. The faster his head moves, the more his sweat flies. Beads of sweat sprinkle the partially assembled meals set before him.

I guess that keeps them moist.


Anybody wanna eat out with me?

When God says that “food is sanctified by prayer” (1 Tim 4:5), I hope that sanctified is Greek for microscopically purified.


10 thoughts on “Uggh!

  1. Just so our generous “Mayhem in Mayville” dinner and dessert theater goers know…..our food platers for those nights came from the Shasta College Culinary Arts program headed by Brad Peters and were very professional and knew the food hygiene protocols inside and out…lots of hand washing, no touching of hair, face, etc….leaving to cough or sneeze and washing hands again and again….and they used their knowledge to train our teen servers the same rules so that they all became experts at washing hands….I was so proud of them all…they did great work! Way to go Culinary Arts students and NCR teens!!!

  2. Maybe we all should eat at HOME more often! At least the germs will be familiar!

    Way to go con!! I’m glad someone is teaching our youth some food hygiene protocols!

    I don’t know about men’s restrooms, but the ladies’ sure have signs posted to WASH YOUR HANDS before leaving!

    I’m sick to my stomach with your entry this time, Dr. G. It’s WAY more than I wanted to know!

  3. Uhhh…confession time. I worked as a banquet busboy…many years ago. You know how you’re water glass is already filled with ice water, and on the table when you enter the room? I could carry 5 glasses in 1 hand. Here’s how: Palm down, placing 1 finger IN each full water glass. Then squeeze all 5 glasses together. You had to get your fingertips below the waterline, or your fingerprints would show. I’ll guarantee that my fingers were cleaner after I was done than before.

    So sorry.

    BTW, where do I send the bill for a new monitor? I cracked mine trying to kill the bug!

  4. Shasta County Health Dept. might be interested in your results.

    The food in the Tupperware was probably OK with all the nasties on the outside.

  5. I was at an Indian restaurant, finished my meal and looked over as I watched the “chef” picking his nose, really digging at it, I mean knuckle level digging…then he proceeded to finish someone else’s meal. Really, they could’ve had mine…I brought it back out.

  6. Brian,
    You win.

    The tupperware which bounced around the the contaminated grunge was then picked up and NESTED into the bowl beneath it.
    I was told this morning that that bagel place is for sale.
    I hope it sells to a clean-freak.

  7. Hi Bill,
    And you and Margi laughed at me when I said “I never complain about anything, and I mean anything, in a resturant until I have my food right in front of me”!
    All this happened and they were not even mad. Just think what goes on when they feel disrespected. On second thought don’t.

  8. One source attributes the sausage quote to Otto von Bismarck who said “Laws are like sausages. It’s better not to see them being made.” I’ve also heard the process being compared to political campaigns.

  9. Here’s a story from the “other side.”

    Janet and I were eating breakfast in a bakery-deli in Ashland, Oregon, last week. The lady behind the counter was putting a tray of fresh cookies into the display case. One of the cookies fell off the tray – not onto the floor, but onto the shelf that held the food trays. Much to my surprise, the lady retrieved the cookie, and removed it from the case. Evidently she threw it away. I told Janet, “I think we can trust the hygiene here.”

    (No, she didn’t look around to see if anyone was watching!)

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