My New Wife

skinmites.jpgScientists have no firm answer to the number of cells in the human body. Estimates range from 10 trillion to 100 trillion, with most experts leaning toward the higher number. If that’s not impressive enough for you, the number of bacteria and other cells that live in symbiosis with us is more than the number of cells that comprise our body. In fact, if your body were to vanish away completely, we’d still be left with a three dimensional you-shaped-shell of micro-organisms.

bacteria.jpgEvery cell in your body is designed to die and replenish itself according to a set schedule. Your molecular material is entirely replaced every couple of weeks.

This explains why my wife remains a constant surprise to me. Just when I think I know her, she mixes orange juice, butter, and cream to make a sauce for her broccoli, something I would have bet money she’d never touch.  (The sauce, I mean.  She loves her cruciferous veggies.)

She comes by it honestly. She’s a molecularly new person every few weeks.

weddingsil.jpegMargi, before we built our lovely new house: I really don’t like contemporary architecture.

Margi, today: I’m already planning our next house and it’s gonna be contemporary.

How can a guy keep up with that?  And whaddya mean, “next house”?  Aren’t we moving into a double-wide?
burger.jpegOr the time my healthy-eating, hamburger-(mad-cow)-avoiding wife said, “Let’s get a drive-thru hamburger.”  Really?  Or are you just trying to turn me on?

Me:  “I thought you wouldn’t eat non-organic hamburgers.”

She:  “Honey, that’s what keeps you intrigued.”

Me:  “You mean scared.”

I have a theory that this is why arranged marriages often work.  Because in some senses, it doesn’t really matter who us guys marry:  we’re bound to wake up with someone different every few days.   So, I just hold on for the ride that is my wife.  And I’d marry her again in a heartbeat.



7 thoughts on “My New Wife

  1. Being a woman, I’m laughing, but I can stop!

    And again being a woman, I wonder how Margi learns to live with a New Bill every couple weeks…..

    Actually, this whole concept of “changing” people is rather terrifying to me!! But, it does answer a whole LOT of questions. I’ve often wondered where my brain went. Now I know, it just morphed away, replaced by something entirely new, possibly not better, but new. Whew!

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