Quit zooming in so much. Please. You’re making me seasick. Do you think it makes cooking more exciting? Is that your philosophy? I’m trying to understand. Really. Barefoot Contessa. Giada DeLaurentis. Even Alton Brown. You guys zoom in so tightly on a bunch of parsley getting chopped that I can almost see the molecular bonds torn asunder. Must we?
Don’t get me wrong. My whole family enjoys your shows. Yeah, too many vegetables for my tastes, and I’m not so sure about cumin. But even my kids tune in. It’s a family affair. My daughter fetched some toy pots and pans from her game room, and then insisted that we rewind the Barefoot Contessa’s tantalizing coq-au-vin so she could follow along.
But when you go in for the tight shot of boiling water, I want to turn it away. The luscious and ever-entertaining Julia Child proved “It’s the cooking, stupid,” or maybe, “It’s the personality, stupid.” Whatever “it” is, it is NOT the cinematography. I’m not watching the nature channel.
Did your producers just graduate from camera school? Is the tight zoom a new fad? If so, Lord let this fad fade fast.
Ina Garten (The Barefoot Contessa) made the coq au vin last week for her husband on their 39th anniversary. We like you just for that, Ina–for 39 years of marriage. Ina, will you please move into our neighborhood and invite us to your dinners? Giada too, but you use too much fish and eggplant for my tastes. Paula Deen stirs my hillbilly loins. More butter, please.
But your shows are hard to watch. I read a book once about making films and they warned against zooming in and out and against really tight zooms. I blame you for my mal de barquement. Besides, plumbing the depths of Alton Brown’s nose pores is nobody’s idea of appetizing.
Thanks for listening,