“Love Management:” Who’s Got the Love Monkey?

spidermonkey.jpegMy article, Love Management, was published in the February, 2008 edition of the Focus on the Family Magazine. I’m really excited and honored by it.

Here, finally, is a link to the article online.

Click Here: Love Management

Check it out, and then come back and leave a really nice comment! Thanks.
While you’re there, sign up for a free subscription to the magazine (on the bottom right).


9 thoughts on ““Love Management:” Who’s Got the Love Monkey?

  1. Good job and congratulations on getting published in a leading Christian magazine! My article submission to the same publication got rejected for being too negative. It was titled, “Who’s Got the Animosity Chimp?”

  2. Congrats on the publication! and in such a prestigious venue at that!

    Eleanore Stump gave a lecture at last year’s Lumen Christi conference @ the University of Chicago entitled “Union: Presence and Omnipresence; a Thomistic account of love” that touched on similar themes.

    She rejects one account very similar to your notion of “attraction love” in which one responds to lovable characteristics in the other and for similar reasons. However, she also rejects an account that sounds a bit like your account. Or atleast, the two share similar concerns.

    She calls it the “volitional” account; the beloved is valued because of the lover’s love for them. There is no reason rooted in the beloved for the love at all. As a result, there is no discernible reason to love this person in particular. Why love your children more than mine? Why love this woman/man more than this woman/man?

    So, she draws a further definition of love from the work of St. Thomas Aquinas. It demands two interrelated desires;
    -Desiring the real, true, objective good of/for the beloved.
    -Desiring union with the beloved.
    The two are interrelated in that if I desire union with someone, but only because I want to be consumptive of them, that isn’t love. Or, if I want the best for someone, but I don’t really want to have to put up with them personally, that isn’t love either. Or, if I am mistaken about what is good for the other person, it is not love either. For example, if I were an abusive spouse who desired the good for/of my wife, but that “good” is submissive obedience at any cost, including violence, I am both mistaken in my desire for her good and my desire for union with her. I don’t love her.

    I was going to try to wrap this long thing up with a variation on your monkey metaphor, but I couldn’t make it work. Oh, well. But I do like this model quite a bit. It provides an understanding of love that is objective obedience of the desires to the order of God’s love.

    Go ahead, apply the criteria to Jesus. It totally works. He wants the best for us, which just is union with Him. How do we enter into that? Well, faith in His saving act of grace on the cross, of course!

    Hope all that is nutritious food for thought.


  3. Love it – thanks for sharing! I found myself really cheering on the parts where you mentioned being filled with the Holy Spirit and tapping into His Power to move forward on this directive. In our own strength, the love we have to offer falls so very short…

  4. Thanks for the reminder that we often have the love thing turned backwards. Perfect timing for Valentine’s Day too! Thanks for blessing us not only with your article, but your teaching week in and week out. You make my family laugh, think, cry, take action and run to our Bibles when we think “huh uh, that’s not what it says” but then find you are right after all.

  5. Great article, I’ll be adding it to my repertoire of “Bill says…” However, I reserve the right to transfer my Love Monkey to Jesus thru the Power script; I think that’s where it spends most of its time… 🙂

  6. Nice article.
    My only problem with it is that I don’t really know what I’m supposed to think or do in response to someone sticking it in an envelope and having her husband hand it to me at my work. It’s kind of odd since she is the wife of a consultant to someone else who works here.
    I posted a short blog about that on my xanga but you might not be able to see it if you are not signed in to xanga. (I had to restrict it to people who are on xanga for safety). http://www.xanga.com/marycarimom

Comments are closed.