While you slept, or maybe your grandparents slept, the American National Standards committee began its life-altering work on the standardization of screw threads. Thank God! What would our lives be like today if every screwmaker did what was right in his/her own eyes? Our lives would be incalculably more difficult.HE: “Honey this screw doesn’t fit either!”SHE: “Forget it. I’ll just cook inside.”Oh, the horror.If our government has the foresight to standardize screwthreads, why can’t they standardize beds? We moved to CA with a queen and quickly upgraded to a king. (One of us thrashes, but I’m not saying who/m). But what kind of king? A California King or a King. It turns out the CA King is longer and skinnier. We don’t need longer and we don’t want skinnier. So, we opted for the good old American King.
Here in CA, we call it an Eastern King. The rest of America calls it a King. Says a lot, doesn’t it. Who needs a longer bed? Go figure.
What we didn’t figure was how tough it would be to buy bed linens for a King. Cal King, no problem. King, you’re stuck with the cheap stuff that feels like sandpaper.Why? I pay taxes. I demand a national Committee On the Standardization of King Sized Beds. It makes as much sense as screw threads.
And what about butter sticks? An American butter stick is long and lean. In fact, any butter dish you buy is shaped like an American stick of butter. But not in California. In California, a stick of butter is short and squat and fat. It does NOT fit in a butter dish. You are left with a greasy mess. Margi bought a butter dish with a lid. The lid smushes the butter, and when you remove it, the chunk (it’s not a stick) of butter sticks to the lid.
I recently asked some CA friends about the butter-issue, and they had no clue what I meant. They’ve bought into the lie. They don’t even make butter dishes shaped like a CA butter-chunk. Who can fix this? Why must California be so alien? What gives?All I know is that if we can spend millions standardizing screw threads, we can afford a few phone calls to California dairies to standardize butter stick/chunks. Until then, it’s spray-butter for me.