Advertisement: Free Dog to Good Home

The Popcorn Chronicles… day three (scroll down for an earlier post)


  • An adorable little fuzzball (dogspeak for not too smart).
  • Playful (dogspeak for relentless).
  • Funny (dogspeak for, “he barks at crickets”).
  • Loves snuggling on your nap (dogspeak for, “if you don’t, he’ll torment you till you let him”)
  • Designer breed malshi (dogspeak for a mutt hybrid we used to have to give away but can now charge hundreds of dollars for)
  • Easy maintenance (dospeak for impossible)
  • Clean (dogspeak for, “he’s relieved himself three times on our Karastan Dining Room Rug–the one we bought from Marshall Fields in Chicago”)
  • Great with kids (actually, he is)
  • Easygoing (dogspeak for, you’ll be up 4 times a night with him)

How can this 4 lb, hairy, pork tenderloin, with a brain the size of a macadamia nut, so completely take over our lives?

Send help.


8 thoughts on “Advertisement: Free Dog to Good Home

  1. Heaven. Foreshadowing. Remember? 🙂 This (stage) too shall pass… When he’s eaten his quota of $400 in shoes, then you will have earned the right to complain.

    (You can return my mockery next month when I’m in wonder at how our newly adopted toddler has so completely taken over our lives… We meet her for the first time on 7/3/08). 🙂

  2. Bill,

    I purchased a yellow Labrador retriever several months ago… The “puppy” is now 45lbs (seven months old)… And talk about maintenance…

    We love him and he loves us. The way Claudia (my wife) and I came to terms was to allow “Mo-Mo” to live outdoors on our spacious property… And Mo-Mo loves it (and so do we)…


  3. Hey Bill. Not interested in a dog but thanks for the post on my blog. I’d love to sit down as I get closer to things with my book. I’d love to get your thoughts. Thanks for all you do at Neighborhood!

  4. Hey Bill,
    Hows Jesse handling Popcorn? All I have to say is good luck. Been there done that too.

  5. Bill, Just reflect, as hard as it might be, twenty years from now. JD won’t remember the rug, but he will remember Popcorn and how his old man relented. If that is too hard, I’ll trade you two cats for one dog.

  6. Just remember this thought: Dogs aren’t our whole life, dogs make our lives whole. I have 6 dogs, 2 of which I use as therapy dogs. It is my ministry to go to the nursing homes to visit with them. When I started this I thought I would be blessing others but I am the one who is blessed. Dogs are great stress reducers. You’ll soon wonder how you ever lived without Popcorn.

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