Beef Jerky Business Cards

meatcardsThat’s what I’m talking about. Finally, a good purpose for a business card. is protyping the things now, and is rushing to bring them to production.  I can’t wait.

Who would turn down a beef jerky business card?

“Can I give you my card?”

“No, I’ll just find you on Facebook.”

“But, it’s beef jerky.”

“Heck yes! I’ll take two and give one to a friend.”

My Inner Marketer just turned cartwheels.

beefjerkycard1Think about the multitude of applications.  Beef jerky gospel literature, for one.  In these days when passersby crumple up tracts and fling them to earth in disgust, I say switch over to beef jerky tracts. Christopher Hitchens would claw past Richard Dawkins to get one first.

They use a laser to produce the text. Beef jerky gospel tracts give new meaning to “burnt offering.”

I hear angel choirs singing.

fourlettermeatI’m asking my publisher if my next book can have a beef jerky cover. [Four Letter Words… sign up for the newsletter, and I’ll notify you when it’s out]  Imagine the crowds clamoring for that one.  I’ll be a best seller on the New York Times AND William-Sonoma AND Bassmasters at the same time.

And who wouldn’t want a beef jerky postcard, a beef jerky menu, a beef jerky receipt at the gas pump, and a beef jerky napkin with your Big Mac?

Oh, to be alive at such a time as this!


4 thoughts on “Beef Jerky Business Cards

  1. Well, you should let me design the cover for your next book. Ill do it for free, since I will, theoretically speaking, will be your intern next summer. 🙂

    • Give us the meat Bill! It is time to eat the Word of God,mmmm-mmmm! what I’m talking bout… “strong meat belongeth to them that are of full age” (Heb. 5:14 – KJV). Beef (God’s Word) – It’s what’s for dinner!

      Oscar can design it, but let me eat it 😉

  2. Hilarious. My husband would certainly be on board with this, beef jerky addict that he is. Except… he’s supposed to be on a low-salt diet! Do they have jerky for the heart-health conscious?

  3. Bill,
    You made me laugh out loud!

    ps: I’d pay to see Christopher Hitchens claw past Richard Dawkins any day!

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