Hold onto your hat, it’s National Grammar Day! I know! Hard to contain the excitement, isn’t it. In case you don’t know, certain people suffer a weird love affair with words. I’m one of them — a confessed victim of philologomania. Anyhoo, in honor of the day, see if you can catch the mistakes in the sentences below and join the cause of Better Grammar for All! Correct the sentence and, if you can, give the grammatical reason/s.
Rules: punctuation matters. Style and sentence structure matter. No need to edit all the sentences; just pick a couple. Use the numbers. Be snobbish and ultra-correct, strictly applying even archaic rules. Yes. Let’s be those people.
- This is the starship Enterprise. It’s five-year mission: …to boldly go where no one has gone before.
- We are grateful for the unnamed donor who sent a pizza to Margi and I. There it was, in a box, laying on our front porch, beckoning with gooey goodness. Thank you forever.
- How wonderful to know that Jesus loves me.
- My daughter is in her room sleeping. Wake up, sleepyhead!
- God loves you irregardless of your past failures. He extends his hand of mercy to whoever wills.
- The gospel teaches that God’s Son died for you and I. He rose again, and reigns from the throne of glory. One day, he shall come again.
- Somebody should tell grammar snobs to unclench there butt cheeks.
- Whatever flesh remain on the carcass of the English language after Hip-Hop has pummeled it to death, will be pecked clean by Twitter.
- My fistadious editor helped me remove excess and unnecessary words.
- Knowing my wife and I love deep dish pizza, you squandered it on he and she. You have no idea how that effected my wife and I.
- Look me square in the eye and tell me you don’t care about this stuff.
- I don’t trust ground beef which isn’t organic. To much horse DNA has been found in it.
- I have a million less brain cells then when I started this grammar quiz. There’s ten minutes I’ll never get back.
- Italian food is different than Greek food and I’m glad about that.
- Its always nice to finally finish an aggravating post like this.
- BONUS: Lastly, this has been such an impactful post, I will click, joyful, the share buttons below, spreading grammar-love though the world.
With thanks to the teachers of Chicago’s Oriole Park School, and to my high school English teachers, Mrs. Zarlenga, Mr. Mims, and to my wonderful Latin teacher, Ms. Shirley Robeson.
A free book to the first two to post 6 or more corrections in the comments below…
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