I don’t know why this topic is on my heart right now, but it is. Maybe you’re the reason. Maybe you’re the one, in the middle of the night, reaching out in this vast anonymous space, for one last hope. One last reason not to cash it all in and leave this hell-hole of a life you’re stuck in.
Well, here you are, and here I am typing these words for reasons I don’t really know. If we’ve met, you know I’m not big on hunches or divine impressions or all that. I’m pretty rational. I think I’m rational right now, but there’s an ache in my heart for you, for reasons I don’t even know.
Here’s what I do know:
No matter what you’ve done or what has been done to you — deep beneath whatever layers of crud have accumulated over your soul — there lies a beautiful, radiant, cherished soul, created in the image of God. To him, you are beautiful. Today. Just as you are. No, God has not forsaken you. No, he has not given up on you. No, he has not caused or approved of the horrible things that have happened to you. Or of whatever horrible things you might have done.
But right now, he draws near you with a compassion you can’t begin to imagine. He smiles when he sees you — the real you. He sees beyond the masks. His gaze penetrates the sum of your coping skills. He looks deep within to see your true self, your best self lying hidden, sunk deep where no one else sees.
God sees the true you and his eyes sparkle with delight over you. He loves you. And even though we might not have ever met face to face, right now, my heart aches with yours, and I love you too.
There is great hope for you. There is a beautiful destiny written into God’s plan for your tomorrows. No pit is too deep. No failure is too final. You’re not damaged goods. The knots can all be untangled, with time. With patience. With grace. With perseverance.
I don’t know… should I put some links here for crisis hotlines? Okay, here goes… I hope this is a good idea. Please use them. Promise me you will. Promise me you’ll call right now. Here’s the link, and the phone number: http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ and the call is free:
I have a confession for you, and then a prayer, and that’s all I can say.
My confession is I’ve been where you are. In my 20s, for a long period of my life, every day, I thought of ending it all. I imagined it. I thought it. I imagined the reactions. And thank God, I never even tried it. I am so glad. Beyond that dark time for me lay such blessing I can’t begin to tell you. It will be that way for you. It really will. You just have to get there, and you can.
Whether you’re just tired of the pain, or whether you’re trying to get even with the people who hurt you, I can tell this: you don’t want to hand anyone the victory of this final act. Least of all the Ultimate Hater who inspired all the other haters in your life: the Devil. Don’t give him that satisfaction. Come with me. One more day. One more day. One more day. One day at a time. Let’s do this. Jesus will help you. Jesus opened this door for you. Jesus brought you to these words today. Not an accident. You are cherished. He adores you.
Now, my prayer for you.
O Great and Gracious God, the Father of all Mercies,
Have mercy on my friend reading these words right now. Plant a spark of hope in their souls. Turn them from this course they’re imagining. Light the fires of hope within them, that they might cling to even the faintest faith in a better tomorrow. Heal the wounded places in their hearts. Silence the maddening voices within. Speak peace into them. Bring divine comfort. Count all their tears, draw near, and wrap them up in your strong arms of love. Direct their feet onto new paths, leading to life, and peace, and love, and joy. It’s all real, Lord. Your ways are life-giving. Cherish that lonely soul reading this in the dark. Value them. Accept them. Help them forgive themselves even as you have — through your Son’s great sacrifice — forgiven them so completely. And Lord, when the new day dawns, let their eyes open to behold it. And in that light, let them feel profoundly assured that you are with them… healing, forgiving, embracing, dreaming, and loving. I commit them into your caring arms. And I ask you to draw around them true and faithful friends, brothers and sisters on this trek through a difficult world.
Through Christ I pray,
PS, I love you.
PPS, Every day you say yes to life, the angels of heaven stand and cheer… You’re their hero and mine too.
Now, I have to decide if this is too weird, or if I should click “publish.”