Margi’s Memo
From: Margi–Christian, wife, mom, attorney, professor, married to a pastor
To: The Gals in My Church
Re: Being a Jerk

smudged-woman.jpgI wanted to be a jerk. I mean I sooooo badly wanted to be a jerk.

I was hurt, wounded. I had a right to be hurt. I might even have been justified in some people’s minds in being a jerk.

I pondered my response to the situation. What should I do? How should I act? Was this an offense that I should confront? Wasn’t I justified? I felt I was.

A couple of weeks ago something happened to me that gave me two choices. One, I could be a jerk. Or two, I could rise above my own pettiness and self pity and act like a mature, wise, loving, Christian woman.

Hmmm, What path to take? Upon initial consideration one seemed so much more satisfying. Yeah, let this person have it. They deserve it. I’m in the right here. I could really make a point. This person really needs to know that this is unacceptable.angrywoman1.jpg

Thankfully, I had lots of time to reflect upon what course of action I would take. I prayed. Can you imagine? I actually stopped and prayed before deciding what to do. Revolutionary.

I then starting thinking. Did this person mean to hurt me? (No.) Did this person on other occasions show great concern and love for me? (Yes.) Did this person have ill intent in mind? (No.) Was I blowing this out of proportion? (Probably.)


I think as women we can be very quick to jump to the defense of our families and ourselves. We are nuturing, protective and sensitive. I have seen too many women get into squabbles and fights over really the silliest of things. And these are Christian women.

couplefightart.jpgWow what an example we are to non-christians when we give each other the cold shoulder or a dressing down for some real or perceived offense.

I have one friend in particular, who is not a saved. She is very spiritual, in her own way, and truly one of the most loyal, loving, generous, non-judgmental people I have ever met. She is baffled and turned off by so many of the Christians she has met because of their seeming hypocrisy and failure to live a life that exemplifies Christ.forgiven.png

When I consider the great offense my life has been to a holy God, being reconciled to Him only through His Son, Jesus, I stand humbled and willing to forgive others.

After praying and laying my hurt, anger and need for vengeance at the feet of Jesus, I realized that I had the power of choice. I could either confront this person. Give this person attitude and a dressing down. Or, I could be loving and kind and forgiving, even where no forgiveness was asked.

I knew the answer, though my heart didn’t fully accept it at first. Forgive and love. I chose to be kind, loving and forgiving.

What choices are you making? Are you going to say you’re a Christian and then act however you want because you are in the right? Or are you going to take stock of who the Lord wants you to grow up to be and act accordingly.

lucysnoopyhug.gifStop being a jerk. That includes being a jerk to strangers, relatives, friends, children, spouses. The next time something comes up and you have a choice as to whether to be a jerk or not, decide the right way before you act. It’s powerful stuff not letting pettiness take control of you. Try it. You’ll be amazed.

I bet you’re dying to know what the story was. That’s the whole point. I’m not going to tell ANYONE. I gave it to the Lord and there it stays.

“You must make allowance for each other’s faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.” Colossians 3:13, NLT.


4 thoughts on “MM6

  1. Hi Margi,
    Well put. I think we all could use a little less jerkyness in our selves. One questin though. Do you think when Jesus said “turn the other cheeck” he was talking about the southern cheeks? 🙂 Probably not huh ? But That’s what I like to imagine when I want to respond to someones rudeness, and know I can’t, or shouldn’t. You smile and they think your either off or an idiot, either way works for me.

  2. You are an amazing women and I truly miss having you near to glean from. Thank God for modern tech.
    Thanks for the blogs. know that every remembrance of you (and family) I am praying for you (all).


  3. Margi,
    I like your idea of the “prayer flare” (sending the urgent distress signal and call for help to heaven). I am afraid to admit that I am guilty of having been rude to others. The most insidious (and most painful) rudeness, though, is that type which is the most subtle, where the object of aggravation is left guessing whether or not you meant what you said or did. I hope that is not what you felt or experienced.
    But we must not return evil for evil (Rom 12:17), and when the temptation arises to be intentional in becoming an unloving person (“being a jerk”), we must look to Paul, who said, “I discipline my body and make it my slave” (1 Cor 9:27). Paul was not referring to physical exercise, but to the innate urge of his Adamic nature. “Resist the devil” (James 4:7) may refer, in some cases, to the very mean people who hurt us!

  4. Hi Margi,
    I presently work with the public everyday . I interact with literally hundreds of people a week so I appreciate your blogs regarding how cruel, insensitive, rude and thoughtless we all can be.
    In my previous profession, as a Policeman, I was even more intensely involved with the very worst that the human condition of sin can manufacture.

    The scary part is that through my experience I have found that I am capable of the very worst I have seen (even though I don’t like thinking about it) and the the very best. The very best is contingent on my letting the Holy Spirit have control . Thats what I’m working on daily . Thanks for your insights and candor.

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